Aunty mat kaho na…

I refuse to be called Aunty by any kid around me.


Several people jeer behind my back. My statements related to this topic have become the butt of jokes in my building as well. They compare me to the famous character in the yesteryear’s serial who kept chiding everyone who called her aunty. The grapevine whispers, “She thinks she is young forever“, “Aunty ko aunty nahi kahenge, toh kya kahenge“, “Jawani eternal” etc.

healthy hair

Well, I am 39 and half years old. And very proud of my age. The experience that I have gathered through the years has made me wiser and calmer. But… I still don’t want to be called ‘Aunty’.

Are they right? Do I really have a problem accepting my age?

The answer is NO.

The traditional definition of the term ‘Aunt’ is: ‘sister of a parent’. (Wiki definition) It is the most awesome designation in the family chain.  A matter of great honour and pride. I have a bunch of fantastic nieces & nephews. I am honoured to be their Aunt. They are my blood, my family. The bond is emotional and would never break. The relationship is bathed with love and respect.

Here is what I would love to be known as if I am called ‘AUNTY.’

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Our country is filled with a section of pseudo-angrez who believe that they know the English language and culture better than the Queen. So, the only generic term used for every lady who is older is – Aunty. This term is more abused than used in our country.

In India, the terms ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’ are loosely used to describe casual relation with an elder. More often than not the term denotes an irritating woman, who can never be a friend. She is usually a detective who, under the garb of friendship, passes on information to one’s parents. Aunties are seen as nagging and obnoxious women who belong to the stone age. Kids who address any random woman as ‘Aunty’ don’t really mean the respect. It is just a tag that is used just because it is a societal norm.

The problem is, that AUNTY means this:

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I have no issue being called Aunty if it means giving respect or extending a relationship. I am game for a niece/nephew relationship that will last a lifetime. I am not interested in a tag that is given to me out of society pressures and compulsion. I don’t want to be called Aunty just because the kids don’t know what to call me.

And yes, what is the harm in asking someone to address me by my first name? Would it really mean disrespect?

I believe that the respect for a person is displayed through the non-verbal behaviour exhibited. Merely attaching a title to a relation is meaningless unless mutual admiration and respect attached to it.

So, dear kids, if you wish to call me aunty – then mean it. 

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Do you agree with me? Do let me know in the comments section. Don’t forget to like and share this post. 


Mayura Amarkant

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61 comments

  1. I totally understand this. I got my first grey hair at age 13 and ever since them, have been called uncle. Even when I am clean shaven today, and look like a kid, I’m called Uncle.

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  2. It pinch a little when you are 25 and a 16 year old calls you Aunty. This is something I don’t like about English. Nice humorous post Mayura.

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  3. Interesting post! Quite true ‘aunties’ more often than not are referred to those ones who sit around and gossip. But In diamond yet has to advance to the stage of using first names irrespective of the age.
    Haven’t been called Aunty as yet. Don’t know what my reaction will be then 😉

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  4. This is an interesting post.
    Kids append the relation aunty, uncle, bhaiyya, didi, etc not because they feel that the person is older than them and it is customary or should I say ‘sanskari’ to say so.
    Like you have mentioned about the significance of the word aunt, the word Aunty also has the similar significance. And we can’t really blame the kids for calling someone like me bhaiyya, even though as per the definition I should be related by blood. They don’t carry a dictionary all around trying to find a suitable word. It’s their way of showing respect that the person they are referring to is more mature, in terms of knowledge and among all other stuff even age. Because with age we learn new things.
    In my opinion, it’s their …it’s our way of showing the little gratitude and respect to the person.

    Wouldn’t you agree, Ma’am*?
    *The anglo angrez is still a long way to get adapted.

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    • Calling me aunt/aunty is perfectly ok if they mean it in the true sense of the word. Calling anyone aunty and then jeering behind the back with disrespect is uncalled for. If that is the case, then any label would do. Don’t you think?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I believe kids won’t think too much into it. And of course it would be with the respect.
        I agree about that but why would anyone do that ? Yes, it this is the case, then there is no need of any labels as well.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a wonderful read, Mayura! Even I feel that age is just a mere number and why to call anyone Uncle or Aunty just on the basis of age. You’re an ageless beauty! So, High five from my side! 😊😊

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  6. Apart from the relationship and the feelings attached to it, here are some reasons that I read which I feel that as a woman one should remonstrate when being addressed as ‘Aunty’.
    Thankfully it’s not the case with ‘Oncle’

    A desi(south asian) woman who has all of the following characteristics:

    1) has a thick desi accent when talking in English

    2) talks in English to be cool

    3) pinches your cheeks and calls you beta or glares at u and calls u batameez

    4) chases people with chappals

    5) smells like curry

    6) asks you to marry her son the first time you meet her

    7) is a fob.

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  7. Hahaha nice one ;). The images you have chosen surely drive home the point :P. Actually one more thing I feel is that in Hindi there are so many words like chacha, tao, fufaji, tai, chachi, bua etc. to refer various relatives. But in English most of the time for everything we find it easy using the terms aunty or uncle to refer to anyone an everyone who is elder to us ;).

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  8. Hahaha..loved the powerpoints, images you have chosen. Your post just reminded me of Kareena’s song- Aunty ji aunty ji, get up and dance…ooooooooOoooo. Uhhmazing post Mayura, glad to connect with you om this platform. Keep writing!! 🙂

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  9. I hate being called aunty… what’s wrong with didi. We should bee called that 😉 I love your comparison… it’s so true… aunties are really notorious in society. Enjoyed reading your post.

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  10. Haha the problem is, some people find it offensive when addressed by their names. In fact most of the people. Look from the other side of the glass, imagine you call someone elder to you by their name & the entire gathering feels offended!

    I understand & agree with your point too. Labelling is unnecessary. But there is always someone for whom it doesn’t suit & strangers can’t find who likes what 🙂

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  11. Mayura, you have hit this spot on. I am not every Tom, Dick and Harry’s aunty. I hate it too. Aunt is a relation, a feeling an emotion, it is not a salutation.

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  12. Lol!! That is how it is in India. But the sad thing is the moment they see you are married or anything that reveals you are married, they’ll address you as aunty! And if you don’t look married but are married, they will call you didi, judging you by the attire or probably the things married women do!!! it’s funny! Tha concept of Aunty is totally funny!

    it was a good take on the topic!

    Cheers
    Geets

    Like

  13. You echoed my thought, Mayura!!!! It’s such so so being called Uncle too like I am some old dude with threatening eye balls and stick. We are cool peeps and forever young. It’s an absolute No No…haha with this formality and I prefer them to call me dude or plain Vishal. Love this post.

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  14. Mayuraji , you won’t believe I call my chatter friends Aunty, bcz they always do idhar udhar ki baatein and Daat lagate.. in anger, I call then aunty bs karo, I am bored. But really like your description.
    As far as my life experience, I went to post Office to post a letter to Govt. Address, I was in 12th then, I called a lady, #Aunty ?? She literally scolded me for saying Aunty to her. It was so bad.. 😂😂😂. Now I know why.

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  15. Hehe …laughs*
    Really no woman want to hear ‘aunty’.

    I remember when once my friend called a boy
    Uncle side hona …because she hasn’t actually seen him and was in hurry to submit a form.
    And he was so hurt but comic that he said instantly Aunty 2 mintues rukna please :p …
    Both were college students ..

    You are 39.5 but still look very young:D

    Like

  16. Dear Mayura,

    I so agree with your point. I never call anyone Aunty unless I mean it. So far di is what I have heard for me. But I still prefer being called Ramya. But they have that feeling when they call me di, I don’t want to say no to them.
    I don’t like my mom being called Aunty as well. I get so angry. She is 49 but so what, I just wouldn’t agree. I can hear you grunt, I would probably too.
    We are brought up like that,Beta, Aunty ko hi Bolo. So it just goes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. OMG! Reminded me of my situation after marriage. In an instant, the kids around called me “Aunty”.. the same kids sometime beck before my wedlock used to call me “DIDI”…. SIGH!!!!!!

    Like

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