My husband & I are incompatible – Is my marriage successful?

Picture this:

Mayura and Amarkant JainBoy meets girl.
She is boisterous, he is quiet.
They fall in love & get married against a backdrop of speculations.
She loves publicizing her views, he keeps everything private.
She hails from a strict convent background & has studied under the Delhi Board.
He completed schooling from a modest school under the state board.
She has never lived in a hostel, he has lived in a hostel for more than 5 years.
Her parents live in a bunglow in South Mumbai, he has always lived in a flat as part of a modest neighbourhood in North Mumbai.
She loves writing, reading, meeting friends, gossiping and watching cookery shows.
Her favourite romantic moment is a long walk on the beach that ends with a candlelight dinner. She prefers writing/reading over watching television.
He loves TV (more than biwi?), analyzing stuff, breaking circuits & mending them, his idea of a romantic evening is lazing on the couch watching sports.
Both are good-looking, talented and ambitious.
Each is headstrong and competitive in their own way.
He is assertive, she is aggressive.
While he calculates a move, she is a bindaas risk taker.
They are post graduates and pursuing their doctoral studies.
While they were dating, most people around them swore by the fact that this relationship was an infatuation. Some even lay bets on how long the marriage will last.

Mayura Amarkant Wedding RingAn incompatible couple. Is their marriage successful?

She leaves the bathroom, he enters. He quietly puts the cap on the toothpaste and pushes the tube back in the right way.
She brings the newspaper to the bed and patiently waits before he reads it.
He folds it correctly after she reads it.
She gets ready for work and piles the rejected lot on the bed. He organizes it.
She lays out poha for breakfast – he loves it. She hates poha.
He plans his day by using the tools on his smartphone. She writes down every little point in her book.
She ensures that she plans to leave early – he hates being late.
She loves talking non-stop in the morning. She doesn’t – he loves quiet mornings.
They exchange a kiss and leave for work. The hug says it all.
There are a lot of daily chores remaining – the tap is leaking, cable subscription needs to be renewed. He is better than her at all this. He forgets.
She sets reminders on his phone so that he can plan the chores at his own pace.
Once at work, she hates being disturbed. He is always worried about her. He doesn’t call her. She ensures she updates him regularly with routine stuff. She sets reminders so that she doesn’t forget.
She loves her independence. Hates telling anyone about her whereabouts. He is the only one who knows.
She opens her laptop and writes, while he is watching TV on full volume.
She uploads important moments of her life on the social media. He watches silently.
They dine at a seafood joint, she loves it. He hates seafood.
He loves to think before he speaks about anything. She swallows her impatience and waits for him to reply with a decision. At times she takes a decision and makes him believe that he did it.
She loves flowers and he feels it is a waste of money. He ensures that he gifts her flowers at least once a week.
When she gets angry, he allows her to express. When he gets angry, she allows him to play Candy Crush to ease him out.
He participates in cricket matches. She takes care of the kids and ensures she watches the matches and discusses with him.
He loves football. She closely follows his favourite club and updates him with news and scores.
He has never even killed a mosquito but he can kill anyone who harms her. The tomboy in her bows only to him.

Mayura AmarkantThey love dancing. They dance whenever they feel low.
They love movies. They watch their favourite movies together.
They love discussing religion, politics, Bollywood.
Discussion and understanding form part of their daily routine.
They agree to disagree on almost everything.
He loves her craziness. She adores everything about him.
Both adjust effortlessly. Love allows it.

Many moons later, they are still together. Very much in love, yearning to spend every moment together. They still feel like they are dating.

— Mayura Amarkant

Add a comment, like and share the post – show some love! Looking forward to your reactions! 

I am giving my blog a boost with the Ultimate Blog Challenge – January 2017 edition.

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

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37 comments

  1. I felt like I was reading the story of my life beautifully written, even I had some friends bet on the marriage lasting not more than a year…… We are the exact opposites…. But still very much in love.

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  2. I am smiling at remembering things that happen at home. That time sometimes you laugh at it and you are annoyed but love is what keeps it going. My sister said one line recently which I believe in to – We are one team. I can write tons because its a very touchy topic. I wish you all the happiness and love

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  3. They do say that opposites attract. This couple, though very different from on another, have found the magic for a successful relationship – compromise. they are both willing to do what needs to be done to ensure the success of their coupling. Many could learn from how they fulfill each others’ needs.

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  4. Hey Mayura, That’s a lovely piece. I did not believe in – Couples are always opposite – but only experienced it when I entered my marriage. We are true opposites. Really. But I am believing that’s the beauty of a relationship.One thing you guys have in similar is – You care for each others interests and it matters.

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  5. A beautiful love story! I don’t think it’s so important how much you differ as it is how you handle it. And it seems you two have done well! My husband and I have many differences, but we respect each other and we respect each other’s opinions, hobbies, choices, etc. On things we consider ‘deal-breakers’ we are both in alignment (ie how to raise our children). Any relationship has its areas of differences. Its how those differences are dealt with that determine how well the couple interacts, how well they survive. Lovely post!

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  6. I loved your blog mayura. This is a lovely read and I am sure we all identity and connect with your personal story, at least I did. Thanks for giving us a sneak peek into your wonderful life.

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  7. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship. I think couples who are too similar are more likely to fail than ones with differences. There should always be a little bit of challenge in a healthy love.

    My husbandand I are opposites, we argue a lot, but will be celebrating our 15th annivesary on the 24th of this month.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Incompatible marriage–sounds so much like my husband and me! And yes, we make those small, daily gestures to show love to each other. It’s not about being a carbon copy of each other for compatibility–it’s about CHOOSING to show love for each other. My life is richer for being married to my husband, who challenges me, helps me expand, helps me analyze myself and find my center to be the most incredible wife bringing love to him daily. Congratulations on figuring it out and continuing despite all the naysayers. I

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  9. Wish you a very happy anniversary Mayura and wishes for hundreds more to come. The law of nature works wonders and I can easily see how well it has worked with the two of you. Also in any relationship, it takes two to make it work and I feel both of you have too much of love for each other to have put the differences of choices way behind. I also loved the way you have written this post!

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  10. This is such a sweet post Mayura. We are also married for 15 years..and will be 16 this month. You have expressed it so nicely. Life is all about ups and downs and who better to share it with than your soul mate. I felt as if I was reading my story. We are opposites in many ways but as u said compatible too. Wish u and ur family a very happy new year. 🙂

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  11. I’ve been a part of this journey and I know how much the 2 of you’ll love each other!
    I feel blessed to be so close to both of you!
    Every time I read your post or speak to you or rarely get to meet you I get to learn something new!
    God Bless!

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  12. Marriage requires a certain level of difference between the couple. One’s strengths balances the other’s weaknesses and vice versa. It’s not an incompatibility. Just a balance of two people making each other stronger.

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  13. This is such a lovely post – I think that it’s important to have a partner with different interests and opposite views. I think if you’re too “compatible” there’ll never be anything interesting to talk about and the marriage becomes a bore – have to have someone who can challenge you and push you out of your comfort zone! Love this post 🙂 XX

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  14. Very well written Mayura… surely love can do wonders In a marriage life and have a bonding which very few can even manage. Truly love and respect your thoughts.

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  15. Well written post Mayura. People with difference can sure make marriage beautiful. One must realise s/he is in marriage to GIVE his/her best, in love. And NOT to extract the best of spouse, jn selfishness.

    Keep writing good stuff to help people. God bless you both.

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    • great writing Mayura, I often used to wonder that how can two people be so different and yet be with each other for the rest of their lives, but the true beauty lies in acceptance of the difference and helping each other to grow with their respective abilities!

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    • Wowww superbbb to read it felt awesome some of the lines felt similar u both make a grt couple lucky to have frnds like u

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  16. This was so much fun to read, Mayura! Compatibilty can be overrated. However, in my first marriage, we were very incompatible and had gotten married at an early age. It ended in divorce 15 years later. My second marriage, we are compatible in many ways, but our temperaments are different enough to keep things interesting while balancing each other. You sound like you have the ticket to a happy marriage and life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love this post. What a great way to point out how you work with the differences. I loved the many ways you said, without saying, “he did this for me” or “I did this for him.” Every engaged couple should read this post. Happy to meet you through UBC.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. What a beautiful post and one I needed to hear as my husband and I are different as night and day but I love him more than my own life. So I wish you the best in the challenge and I look forward to reading more of your post. Have a great day and a fantastic 2017.

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